(Custom) Hi Michael! So nice to meet you! Thanks so much for booking a massage with me! I'm sorry your regular masseuse is out but I think you will find my techniques extremely satisfactory! Please take off your clothes and get into a towel while I get my special oils and candles. Let's get started, don't be shy. I'm a professional. I can't help but notice that huge bulge under your towel. Let me work on that for you too! It's soo tense and stiff!