Well, well, well… look at what Santa brought for you this year—a little something special to remind you exactly what you are. Nothing. This isn’t just a cage; it’s your new reality. This is a flat cage, shaped like perfection—female anatomy. So much better than the sad little thing you’ve been carrying around. That joke between your legs? It doesn’t even deserve to exist. But don’t worry. Once you’re locked in this, it won’t feel like it does anymore.